Wednesday, August 31, 2011

why yes we are first world according to the historical definition

someone a couple decades older than me i used to see daily ten years ago has sent me a friend request on a social networking site man this is a boring sentence and at first i was flattered but this is a person who's looked me in the eye and said they were singling me out for some reason* and could i not tell anyone maybe please?** as i stood there & realized coloured contacts weren't perfect and now she's looked at my profile and saw
1. the name of a school
2. some sad group photos
3. me being rude to people on my wall
clearly i've failed her and i can't see a polite way of telling her how i think made up inspirational stories and out of context quotes are crappy ways of getting people to love the world*** 
somehow i don't think i'll be answering that request anytime soon

*not in so many words
**i had puhtenshul, dammit!
***to be fair, you can't rise above things without being exposed to them & the earlier the better.
this post is actually brought to you by my currently very sadomasochistic(america america america)relationship with beat poetry. i wonder when i'll get over beat poetry.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

CAVEAT RECTOR

so you were at certain places at certain times and then you weren't and then they put me in this building where you were kind of everywhere but then you were there and there was a real actual point in space where you were at and i had spent all day asking you questions like i used to do only before it was oh why are you there oh what are you thinking oh is it because there are too many corners in your eyes and now it's all how did you do it

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

small mercies

well of course i'd love to dump it all on you when you're least expecting it and don't have time and whatever else but i'm a better person now  my jaw hurts  it'd just be weird okay
i'm glad we've had this conversation

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

a masterclass in notetaking

 





eta hes not alive anymore

"arid."

clearing my drafts & taking vanity bolding to its logical conclusion:

our father who art a rhetorical device, let us not get carried away by flippancy. give us the will to keep our heads slightly bent at all times, the patience to walk excruciatingly slowly, and the strength to work hard on things other people have decided we should work hard at. (...) the ignorant, the misguided and the trivia lover as well as those not blessed with the gift of communicating scientific ideas without failing the giggle test. (...) let us not get apprehensive about ingesting our fellow creatures but watch over us as we do. (...) and the darkness of the night.
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good thing cycling isn't as popular as football (...) all season every season.
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when there were verifiable statements they were factually correct, but that's not what the word means, is it? (...) throw at each other to see what happens (...) i suspect i will forever be looking for the kind of kick you get out of being so gloriously self-indulgently insensitively full of shit.
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swimming sunbathing peoplewatching (...) in seaside establishments (...) wonders if she has body image issues, but everyone has body image issues before they fix them. so it's more like she has laziness issues. or possibly cynicism issues.(...) because bad people can get in her locked house and do bad things except they can't, not statistically. (...) skip the "do things with your friends" step due to unforseen circumstances. (...) a bit like trying to keep your bookshelves tidy in its not-happening-in-the-real-worldness. (...) because she doesn't earn it and what does she know, really (...) saying things that just aren't said out loud so maybe she needs all the help she can get to guard her self-whatever. 
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not to sound ungrateful, but why is his enjolras a cross between jackharkness and johnsheppard, again? (...) omg you guys markcavendish and pippamiddleton just sang a duet or was it bingo no it was nickjonas omg (...) next to the complete&utter valjeanness of joj&colm (...) the distinct lack of DCA-mouthing-the-words shots.
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at the risk of sounding crazy with all this color talk i'd like to note i'm a really weird color right now. i'm also having dental work done and it's taking a long time and i'm not in physical pain anymore now but i will be next week today and i would enjoy this much more if i wanted to lose weight and it's really weird how though i know there's no way i will starve to death i still keep eating even when it's really not worth the effort (except it's not weird at all). something's happened and now i can't decide if i should be feeling oh-so-self-righteous or like a manipulative bitch. i keep thinking if they're not bright enough to see i'm right like me it's not a huge loss anyway, ouch.