"witness my hand", "you and that whole friend thing, man" also other stories

that memento-mori display!

Judge the Notary: Every One According to Their Handwriting, Now with Extra Haven

knowing i will never ever find out what that pseudocatcher book was called

- i'm sorry you think i'm some european equivalent of a 15-year-old amish girl. i like to think i would have said something if i had anything to say.

- i hope somebody finally set you straight about the whole turkey with cranberries thing.

- i have no idea if you were a nice old man or a creepy old man but that was very, very neat.


times alfred came agonizingly close to seeing patrick wolf live: 2.

i really want to lose my shit over Project Make Cycling Boring but i haven't yet

did you know the roh has the best social media team ever did you know that though

the things i'll do for martin freeman, vol.1

a. see that movie

fun, also games

there's a butterfly in my room.

not a moth. a butterfly.

it's a sin, to live so well

watch me degenerate into self parody under the cut

duty, honor, candy

starfruit so simple

i've got something in my drafts called "salad facts" that details all my produce-inspired neuroses.

selfindulgent overthinkers of the world,

one of the things i think i know about myself is that there's this certain type of people i'll always want to be around. i've also been convinced, by some things that happened some time ago, that if i am to have some sort of relationship with someone who fits the profile that requires we exchange ideas over a period of time measured in something longer than hours, it's almost impossible to end well, because among other things, the downright comical difference between the way we interact with otherpeople guarantees hard feelings.

more recently i've been idolizing, fantasizing and philosophising whenever i get the urge. it wasn't a conscious decision, and i'm sure i wouldn't be able to maintain any of that noble detachment if tempting circumstances arose. it just happened to go with the life-is-what-happens-to-other-people thing i've got going, is all.

i'm not sure what it is that i'm trying to say. i think it's just that sometimes things happen in the world, but it's never anything a little rationalisation and revisionism can't fix.

more like Biennial Horrible Sports Commentary Fortnight amirite

1. cycling.

2. my massive crush on ışıl is massive and no amount of shoddy basketball playing can change that.

3. four years ago i was in a hotel room in las vegas marathoning sg-1.
4. i got to watch the jonah lehrer story unfold in real time because i happen to be subscribed to tablet.
5. i might be just a little obsessed with the way kaley cuoco and some other californians say -ing.

1. i hate all the gleeful expressions of fannishness the tumblr generation's come up with.
2. how is her name ışıl though how do these things happen
3. me and michael shanks, we're pupil-twins. also i hadn't noticed how awkwardly lit this scrapbook of 90s makeup trends show was and then i listened to the commentaries, ouch.
4. never let it be said i don't love the world.
5. tbbt really should bother me more. the earlier seasons are quite painful, but it gets much better. they couldn't have gotten it wronger than bones did anyway.

hey, awful people who don't know me

WHY THE SHOUTING

that's not how it WHY

WHO ARE YOU ANYWAY WHAT ARE YOUR NAMES I DON'T EVEN

smart person with patience likes cycling shocker

we have to take the car

ignoring the skeletal elephant in the room for the moment

thanks for playing, konyaspor!

insta-personalcanon

yesterday i woke up and i knew what happened yea i knew what happened* and i'm leaving it the hell alone because i don't need any more scenes playing over and over in my head


*i don't know what happened and i never will

what is it up in the air for?

the tour this year is freaking me out. i spent the first five stages moaning about how all of the gc contenders were still in contention. we've made it to the first rest day with nary* a mountain in sight. i'm trying to get emotionally invested in the polemica and failing miserably. i miss highroad. the pre/post-race stuff is a huge mess and i never thought i'd say this because i generally love interviews but i can barely keep myself from changing the channel. the people on the field (which i'm sure are really nice and work very hard and will get better at this) are just not very good at questions** which would be managable if they could speak english but they can't and it's freaking 2012 but they're oh-so-fluent in german which i'm pretty sure they don't need to be because all the german speaking riders speak english well enough to give interviews and and and they interviewed jens in german the other day and it made me cry because why why why would you do that to us and why?*** and this happens where they ask a question and the rider looks at them blankly mostly because he's tired and bored but also because they can't speak english they just panic or possibly think it's the rider who can't speak english and so they just ask an even worse question oh and dh's been transformed into a history-revising winking nudging schleckhater which is just great.


*so my definition of a mountain is different than yours. big deal.
**by "not very good at questions" i mean i could think of better ones and generally felt i was better informed about the rider
***even if they didn't make shit up while translating which they totally do everyone who knew anything worth knowing about cycling knows that you interview jens in english.


i don't know, man. it just feels strange, y'know?
by strange i mean has potential for greatness.

saw ye him whom my soul loveth?

i want to talk about things that happened but i've lost all perspective on everything and decided i shouldn't be allowed near functional people except every now and then one of them gives me something new to obsess over and it's so good i don't think i

that's not how you pronounce "epitome" but who cares

i have this patch on my face where skin of the undereye kind extends out to my cheek it's about a square centimeter in area and it's the only place where my skin is completely flawless and all it does is that it makes me look like i'm woefully incompetent in foundation application

just when i thought my day can't get any better

the sun goes up in america.

(this post 100% sarcasm free)

most things may never happen,

few things

can't find it now, but i saw the phrase "reason to interact" somewhere and now i just want to spend the rest of my days staring at those words painted in huge black letters on a white wall listening to a looped recording of a voice i don't know, saying those words, because yes.

couldn't follow it as closely as i'd like, but this year in turkish football has really been exceptional. so many great stories & moments where the slick corporate status quo broke down and left everybody scrambling to adjust/make sense of it all. all this on a scale i'm not quite used to. was great. is all.

oh, and qatarairways means something to us.
(means the same thing)

are you one of us?

thirty questions with my past self

oh is it? nice.don't always remember it but i'll spare a moment when i do. any? try five. somewhat different looking. not as comfortable as i would like. none that i actually speak. no, but maybe that's for the best. no. yeah, sorry about that. oh yes. it's now smaller and more twirly and generally prettier. funny you should ask that, so many memes have gone mainstream but that one hasn't. all grown up, i suppose. god no. yes but i don't know where it is. no, no, yes. nooo. i don't know. yes, of course i remember. no, you aren't. yes, yes, yes, yes, yes and in great detail too. still wearing it! yes. at home i do. yes and it was very nice. yes. no and it doesn't look like i ever will, to be honest. no. no, and i don't want to anymore. well, i don't. huh. and i'm less articulate than you. that i do. good for you. love you too. hugs and kisses (lost yeah i'm lost)

bubblegum pop (and other stories)

that was sheer bloody mindedness there from yrs truly. desperate times, she says. nothing worse than boredom, she says. bossier-than-thou, she says. she's conspicuously silent on the issues of quantity and timing.

so! i went out and bought yellow eyeshadow. the thing where people are rude to me because i'm looking at them wrong happened. at this rate i'll figure out friendships sooner than i figure out shopping.

this is the may without the giro. reading headlines in case anyone else dies.

dude, fly, open. JUST FYI.

i wish i could think of something to do. but i can't.

schade! heh.

so, so glad i got to watch, again, a bunch of people ignore all attempts at getting them to care about how the french put up some barricades two centuries ago. on the right side of things this time. apparently it's kinda hard to get excited about the stuff. feeling loads better; i hadn't quite been able to let that one go.

still a bad idea to pick things you like or know well to work on academically. i realized this a while ago now and i still do it. and end up producing the dullest things.

notes on sexual frustration

that wacky production of king roger!

right, so why were we just absently pawing at each other, again? no idea how i kept a straight face but i did.

suddenly supernatural's on everyday, all glorious hd and extreme closeups and single manly tears. every day, man. every. day.

to connect the threads a little bit, you spineless, *soulless*... or maybe it's just unfortunate. it might even be my fault in a ridiculously roundabout way.

it's amazing how well-adjusted i feel without all the people i sorta-know around. this bodes well for the near future.

OH, AND THAT WAS ALMOST CERTAINLY A SPEECH ERROR. THE GUY ENDED UP SWITCHING SUFFIXES PRECISELY BECAUSE HE REALIZED IT. PEOPLE DO THESE THINGS. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU.

the idyll of abuhayatcaddesi and the epic. between four walls.

or summat.

thou shalt not kill off the eye candy.

i don't pretend to know how tv shows work, though there was a time when i did.

still, that's pretty basic.

outta sight

i've been taking care to walk extra close to this bescaffoldung building to increase the likelihood of a heavy and pointy and preferably rusty object deciding to lodge itself in my skull. everything else is the same as it ever was.

and what i want to know is
what kind of a month is april
> shoot me.

l'enfer, c'est les autres

waking up to a text in french, i was forced to confront, at the ugly hour of ten in the morning, the weightiest of all questions; was my life, at last, complete?

to which i say
ASK ME AGAIN IN OCTOBER

more circles (but i digress):

did you know the rhine is my favourite river? oh yes.

the right to romanticize things, think of things in terms of. moar.

rattle the windows when they laugh

CALL THE QUOTE POLICE!there's been

enough of that, yes? happier things:

1. mirror writing with the non-dominant hand, the discovery of.

2. reasons to love our kind; part 976 in a series: potter's wheels. (please, please, let me learn to throw properly at some point? no, sixty five's fine.)

I. resolvida

add it to the list of things i'm wrong about?
"nifty things were invented."
living in the world! best soundtrack in two galaxies.
hey, i know where that nerve ends! did you know that i knew where that nerve ends?

this would be so much easier if i couldn't hear so well.

.level.

okay, fine, crowd me out of my own head without so much as a nevermore. maybe i'll snap out of this whole people-are-nice thing i've got going.

knew this tag would come in handy sometime

"he's the tour winner... huh kim?"

"sure."

if ever any

art is made for us to enjoy, that's the whole reason it exists. it works, because it is made by other people, who are more similar to us than other nonpeople. you like some art. just like everyone else.
y/n?

well i spent five years in a strange strange land

the first year everything was so heavy and i was the most articulate person in the world.
the second year everywhere was hospital green cold and i kept spilling things.
the third year was soulcrushingly boring except there were bikes.
the fourth year was when i suddenly started needing people.
the fifth year i spent procrastinating and carrying my 2003(2007) smile around to unleash on the shocked&pitying masses when the time comes.

her şeyi birden istemek

i'll still be able to read a novel and talk like its characters for the next two days. and the lovely things i won't have i don't have now either. sometimes investments &c.

adventures in modesty

turns out it isn't muttering under your breath every once in a while. it's giving up and writing breezily ridiculous also awful things. and let the nice people the nice people be nice people.

*this is a brave new world where sporzasbilan is georestricted.