signs you are a woman

you get upset when men allude to the fact you have breasts

you break confidences when you get upset

i would never put on the internet

1. a photo of me lying on a bed eyes glazed and lips parted

but you would

and that, really, that is the reason for everything; and with all your passive-passive banter and your talk of killing people, you are my brother, hugo and hippocrates agree, and you'll smile at me whenever necessary, thank god