pls nao?

why aren't we three and certain we'll spend the rest of our lives seeing each other regularly

why isn't that something that is

text messages on the hour

there's a voice in my head that's basically me commenting on things

sometimes when i'm talking i'll realize i can't get at it

like i can't put two different sets of thoughts into sentences at the same time

and panic in the middle of a conversation

other times people'll hand me a bunch of riddles and start pacing

and it's just like listening to a really boring person

like i really really want to think of other things but can't quite

it is ju u u u u u u u ust

MEH, SPORT. I AM DISAPPOINTED IN YOU

and other such soulcrushing things

i know

i know i should think about things

psych myself up

and only then do them

and for god's sake be quick about it

but

yeah

okay

i'm doing this doodlething and it's so comforting and lovely i can't stand it - so when it's finished [redacted]