boopoe.

-(bkz. charlotte au chocolat)

(bkz. çorbaya dönmek)

-today i came home and there was no giro. it was sad.

(celebrations yesterday consisted of eating rice cakes & watching "adesso ivaaaan! motoooo!"

my heart still breaks at every crunch.)

-earthquake soon, the pseudoscientists say.

(bkz. famous last words)

and nothing.

sometimes i dream
where all the other people dance
sometimes i dream
charlotte sometimes
sometimes i'm dreaming
the sounds all stay the same
sometimes i'm dreaming
so many different names

charlotte sometimes crying for herself

charlotte sometimes dreams a wall around herself
but it's always with love
with so much love it looks like
everything else
of charlotte sometimes
so far away
glass sealed and pretty
charlotte sometimes

she loved me sometimes, i loved her too

(she loved me, sometimes i loved her too)

how could one not have loved her great still eyes

from the bottom of my pencilcase

change of plans! i have a new door! it has no windows! i fell in love with a mountain! unfortunately for us, a mountain is a mammal.

i survived what might be the last soul crushing discussion on 1984. what i learned from the experience was mostly that it was indeed possible everyone else in the room is very, very stupid.

i, for one, welcome our new overlords.

these from a book i should not be reading

"sizin için üzülen kitaplar" - "feel sorry for you" p.9

"bu belgelerden dolayı suçsuz olduğu" - innocent of having written stuff p.9

"... listesinin internette dolaşan sürümü" - ne sürümü yaa? p.10

"parmak ısırtan, kendini iyi hissettiren gelişmemişliğe karşı" p.10

"yazılan ... bir edebi gelenek vardır" p.10

"eğitimde süregelen ... gıda zehirlenmesidir" p.11

"aksiliklere karşı bir mücadeledir" - "against all odds" p.13

"hava kabarcığı" - "bubble", as in bubble boy p.14

"yaşamın semptomları" - just bad writing? p.14

"endişelerimizin en temel saçmalığı" - p.17

"altın yıldızlar" - and nonamericans go bzuh. p.17

"belirli koşullar altındaki" - "in any given circumstance" p.25

"bir gün kasmanız gerekecek" - i LOLd. p.31

"pembe not kağıdınız" - "pink slip" as in firing someone p.34

"Rhodes bilginleri"- "Rhodes scholars" p.35

a little competence is all i ask, really.

oh, what a lonely thing, in a blood red drain

-me: *asks a RL question to the 8-ball*

8-ball: outlook not so good.

me: good riddance?

8-ball: as i see it, yes.

-if the situation at Cali negatively affects the sponsor thing,

i will cry.

speaking of which, why does stuff like that only happen when i have other things to do? why?

the day my brain esploded.

oh look, it's the prairial lady!

also, trains. mmm, traaaaaaains.

meta!

it's STRIKETHROUGH late /STRIKETHROUGH early, and it occurred to me that this place didn't have enough angst. so there:

-i nearly threw my waterglass at the monitor just now because I NEED A STRIKETHROUGH THINGY IN MY TEXTBAR THINGY DAMMIT. that sounds dirty. YES I KNOW THE TAG. I DON'T CARE. also, that's not true. i'll never throw a glass anywhere. cause then it will shatter and all the pieces will bounce off places and it will hurt.

(i wrote something about contamination by onions and dreaming of perfect salad greens here at which point i realized this isn't working at all. i still write letters in my head to people that actually exist, usually when i'm feeling cornered. then i try to write it down and i start thinking. thinking, so not conductive to producing written angst. i want to write angst! help.)

i wrote this, for example (3May):

"[blah blah thesis blah] ...so the next time i'm just going to open my eyes really wide and say something about [censor this part] depending on which you it is with as much wonder as i can manage, and suddenly i'm not the one who's thinking they're missing something. before i know it the time will be up and i'll have somewhere to be. this is a draft, draft i say. close the window. i crack myself up."

and this (26Aug)

"...i won’t be angry anymore. just, you know, ashamed that i thought of these things (let alone type them out, horrors)."

there! angst about angst!

word of the day: guldstøv.

coming up next:

- ten days of perfect tunes.

- hell.

- holy week #3.

- couple of days somewhere hopefully above 50° N.

- teh Tour.

- two (?) weeks of hell ft people i don't know.

- september. nuff said.

to do:

- regret not starting the tr:cycle thingy.

- look at train schedules & dream.

- feel bad about my french.

- buy self birthday presents.

- find music in danish.

- buy an estonianblue marker.

- write thethingihavetowrite without getting too involved.

tuesday. (d.attnbrgh edition)

oh, and

i heard a "the thing is about this is that.." on maythefourth.

closed letter.

dear DH,

please get rid of your Union Jack tinted glasses before the TTT.

(i hear pink is all the rage these days. might want to try one of those.)

love,

alfred.

"never say anything. be instrumental."

"Take the matter of being born. What does being born mean to mostpeople?"

georestricted?!

was the giro team presentation. brought it upon myself, i did.

georestricted.

az önce adı d ile başlayan bir kanalımızda yayınlanan
bisikletli aksa enerji reklamındaki gözlüklü çocuk.

tuesday.

CrappyCam, natural light, complementary colors? huh.

oh look, a colorbar! (the same fabrics, w/ flash this time) :

my brains, you say? they're made of peberkager.

just finished "The Blank Slate" by Pinker.

-was strange to see my (sprawly*) rant to my mother about free will staring back at me (my version included more hand waving, obviously, but still).

-you may agree with him, you may not, but the guy can write. (is this popular science, then? [one day i'm going to show the syntax parts of The Language Instinct to someone who has less background than i had and watch. on a related note, they should really do something about that YA book cover.])

-the last chapter, well. the last passage didn't impress me as much as it impressed Pinker, especially without the rest of the story. so, meh. it had started out suitably manifestoish too.

-go read (says AtS to herself).

*am amused to discover this is actually a word.