ain't no use in turnin on your light

the sky monday was partly cloudy. i have* since lost all faith in my ability to articulate things so that's as far as i dare go. some stuff in the sky however did get called my "grey, personal rainbow" by persons more poetic than me. because i'm a little(yellowishgreenish)grey. not argyric!but it's usually there when i look in the mirror.

i like reading about food i can't bring myself to eat. i remember (this before the internet) staring at a picture of a slice of lemon flan (garnished with cranberries) for at least ten minutes; it was the prettiest most sophisticated looking thing i'd ever seen. now i can say i've tasted it and it was absolutely revolting** and i still don't get how people can eat eggs and look at me like i'm the weird one.

the only novel i've ever bought from a bookstore the way people normally buy fiction just won his author a shitload of money! (was quite pretty too.) this makes me so happy you'd think i wrote it.

in-a-pickle/self-preservation punning contest. go.

*if i hadn't i'd also talk about how i watched the (thinkof whereweare inthesolarsystem) lunar eclipse (and the planes, don't forget the planes) on the beach listening to medsud~ for the first 2.5 times because i'm a genius and i always pick the right occasion.

**like thousands of esl students who had the same textbook, i still think this is a frequently used adjective. like, great, okay, bad, absolutely revolting.

andy est un garçon poli.

today i held in my hands a copy of kraftwerkstourdefrance on vinyl.
for ten seconds.
i feel very grownup now.

offmyheadthereisapath.

i can't think. i blame otherpeople.
yesterday. i am manic after spending the best part of the past week crying. and not bipolar manic or hormonal manic either. no sir, i have a reason! i'm thinking, oh, i have just jumped through a bureucratic hoop successfully! it was hard and i had to deal with (unreasonable and lazy) people, but i did it! go me!
then i come across this person who's previously stolen one of my childhood memories and recounted it in my words, and done other things like that. (they're currently #4 on my "i want to understand this person so much i can't even" list, but it's pretty hopeless. how do you understand a nice person? you don't. they just go around being nice.)
then i go somewhere where there are people. i strut my usual(!) annoyingly cheerful self around. no one has anything to say to anyone but we make do. still manic.
i come home and eat gummy loop things. glucose syrup! &c.
then i check my e-mail. for no apparent reason. i don't know why i am surprised, considering i've known with some certainty for some time that otherpeople were lazy and unreasonable and generally incompetent. I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO THINK SINCE. THIS IS A PROBLEM.

new fandom, ahh. right now it's kind of the only thing keeping me sane, but STILL NOT THINKING LALALALA.

my sport is still a joke. (after sanseb i'm deleting all my bookmarks and feeds and things. hah! see you at the olympics, sport!)

my brain thinks all nicethingsyousay (i keep thinking they're called platitudes but they're not, but they're not, but they're not.) are interchangeable. i should be more worried about this.

i was going to write about transsib.

PSA.

want* your standardized test to be fair? allow people to retake it some other time than exactly one(two, three, four) menstrual cycle(s) later.

*not a given

(i've been increasing the entropy of the universe for this?)