how's your mood? how's that song?

sherlock is now a truly awful show. i find this less alarming than i thought i would.

"silence in the library" i type. "it's the first of a two parter."

the tarot card bit was at least slightly ironic, it must've been. it was almost definitely may. i remember fixating on a headphone cable which may or may not have been purple. it was raining really, really loudly; but then it was almost definitely the beginning of may. i thought "sound of silence" was, maybe not exactly profound, but at least worth listening to. that version was not the actual album version and almost definitely didn't have the countermelody. i feel like i just made up (wait, what?) a word but in fact i haven't.

i feel better now that i forgot most of my high school days. the embarrassment has mostly faded out of the ones i didn't. unless i dwell on it which i just did, ouch. everyone is now a fully functioning adult applying for grad school and it's all fine. next year i'll go to the reunion. i wiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeiiiiiill. hills like white elephants.

now i have to get rid of a whole month of seeing the same features on the same buildings again and again and again as i zip back and forth on a straight piece of rail. except the bit where it turns a corner to avoid the bit with the nice houses. i forgot the name of the stop where this happens. a good sign. back away slowly.

went through two weeks of ibs and came out the other side with a new appreciation for what sick people go through. someone alert the presses. i am now as a result alone with my brain and get furious at the drop of a hat. it brings back memories of tying my hair with electrical cable with an appliance hanging off the end. i can't quite manage it as it happens. i can't quite hold a conversation in english. i mostly talk the other person's head off because that's always been how i english. 

i might actually be marginally less articulate in my mother tongue at this point in my life. a friend of mine intuited this and i laughed it off because it was the right thing to do. i've also completely failed to make someone understand the sun rises at the same time every year. i thought they were privy to some obscure fact about the earth's orbit at first and listened, which turned out to be a mistake. i didn't force the issue because it was the right thing to do. it still makes me want to bash my head against a wall.

may it is. 1 in 6 chance of rain. 1 in 5 if i think of rain in two day clusters. but this is almost june. i have to give a rough estimate, in words. i don't have much time. as far as operations go, i'll say, this is an easy operation. that's a 1 in 100 chance, which is an order of magnitude higher than "normal". hero to crit: 2%. meaning of life stuff right here and the only winning move is a shrug.

in other news, jonathan blow is a wanker. the trouble with making your art about life in such general terms is that everyone's heard that pantheistic einstein quote a million times already. 

nice try though * nice try.